Just over a day ago, I met M's parents for the first time. Now, this is something I've done many times before, and I'm not normally bothered by that sort of thing, but this time would be different, or so I thought at least. I've never met the parents of someone who is transitioning, let alone it being the first time they were meeting M, after knowing him as R for 30 years! Nervous is not how I'd describe the way I was feeling. M was so stressed and I wanted to take the weight off of him, but I couldn't. So I cleaned and built IKEA furniture (some of you will already know I stupidly used my hand as a hammer - now it's all swollen and sore!!)
Anyway, I became fiercely protective of M - I'm secretly a Mumma hen - and worried about his parents getting names wrong, pronouns muddled up etc, and how that'd affect him, AND I was worried about convincing these people that I'm good enough for their now son? So I cleaned and tidied and cleaned and tidied, right up til the last moment, when I hopped in the bath and waited for M to text and tell me he was on his way with his parents in tow. I washed and scrubbed, trying to soothe my nervous knots in my back, checked my phone one last time before slipping deep in the bath to rest my aching stressed head. Then, two mins later I hear a knock at the door so I checked my phone... 'It can't be M,' I thought, he's not text to say he's on his way, and went to sink my head under again, only to hear a key in the lock and voices. Now, I have forgotten to mention that when we're alone, M and I don't usually lock the bathroom door, so I had done the same on this occasion. I don't think I've ever moved so fast as I did then! I hopped out the bath, locked the door, towel dried myself horrendously, put my PJs back on and came out of the bathroom with the biggest fake smile I could muster, I was COMPLETELY thrown for a hoop. Still, after a dashed few mins of drying off my hair and so on, and changing in to something more suitable, I came out grinning with words of reassurance to M (he thought he was in the doghouse) and welcoming noises. The afternoon proceeded with relative ease. I charmed them (I hope) with tales of Africa and my family, and they talked to me in turn about horses and trips to Hong Kong. I found a well of forgiveness in me for each stumble they made as a) they were SO apologetic about and b) I still get it wrong from time to time!!
Anyway, the whole thing was lovely! I feel so damn blessed sometimes!
